pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
