I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
