Will you blow on my dice?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
