Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
