Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i barfeds in our rink
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
