Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
