is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
