I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
