he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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