as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
