I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
