now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
