I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
