I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
