Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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