Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
