Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
