I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
