yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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