White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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