I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
