I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
