I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
