Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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