how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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