They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
