Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
