i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
