I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Your tits are I can't wait for
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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