Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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