i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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