i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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