is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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