we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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