even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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