Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
