Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
