White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
