she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
