her vagine was all disorganized.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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