There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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