Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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