she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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