I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
