so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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