so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
