Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
