He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
