My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My bed smells like the plague
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
