i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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